I used to think it was creepy when people said that someone you loved is 'at peace'. It immediately conjured up the sweet stink of a big gaudy flower arrangement in a funeral home, dirty Kleenex and dusty black dresses.
This morning I finally know what that means. Robert is gone. And I know in my heart that he is at peace now. I don't know exactly where a dog's soul goes, but I want to end up wherever they are.
He was surrounded by the techs at Back on Track and Dr. Shaw this morning so he had about seven of us petting him and telling him we loved him. He was on his favorite bed and he had his head in my lap. He was calm, he seemed ready and he was very peaceful.
It was a honor to take care of him for these last two years. He taught me about loving someone besides myself and being present when you are needed more than anyone else in my life.
I admired him so much. He put everything he had into learning how to walk again and he wanted to go for a walk every day, even though it was hard for him. Through all of the therapy and exercises and being carried around, he never once lost his patience with anyone who was trying to help him. He was always loving, even when things were really hard. I aspire to be more like him.
The last couple of months he would not sleep unless I let him put his head on my shoulder and his paw in my hand. He would whine and push against me and whack me until I let him do it. After I gave in, he would heave a big sigh and go to sleep. It was annoying at first but then I realized that he was starting to say goodbye. I will miss him more than I can express. Not the poop or the shredded towels but I will miss him.
Before this happened, I didn't know that people were so kind. The love and support that we got while he was sick changed my perspective. He was not a burden, he was the reason that I no longer view the world as a hostile place.
My deepest gratitude to everyone who helped us. Thank you so much. He knew he was loved and, after this, I feel more loved too.
Cindy
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
The Kind World
Cindy, I am very to sorry to hear about Robert's passing. He was truly a unique dog and knew how to make people smile. When I was having a bad day he would 'stumble' into my cube looking for treats and it always brought a smile to my face. It was truly a pleasure of knowing him and seeing him thrive with your attention and love. I wish you the best during this tough time. - Jason
***
Cindy, I am so sorry for your loss. I do believe in doggy heaven and know Robert is enjoying limitless games with a laser pointer. - Melissa
***
Dear Cindy - I wanted to let you know that my thoughts are with you during this sad time. - Ines
***
RIP Robert. I'm actually crying a little for that damn dog. He was a really good guy. I hope he just felt released from that crochety old body, and went in joy and love. Take care of yourself, and be proud you were such an awesome momma.
***
(From Switzerland) Hi Cindy Oh I’m really sorry – and we just talked about it on Monday. I will have Robert always in my mind like how he used to lean on my legs, or how famous he became around the World with our nosey campaign. - Nicole
***
Hi Cindy, I am very sorry to hear this. I loved meeting your boy..... very special guy. He knows that you gave him your all and he is grateful and peaceful. I know how much it hurts. Take care of you. - Jan, Stormey and Rainey
***
Dear Cindy, I'm so sorry for your loss. You have captured many memories and images that you get to relive much of his life. He has been such a blessing to you and so many people. What a life well lived! Your stories about Robert have shown patience and grace in difficult times. Thank you for sharing them. Peace, Denise
***
Oh Cindy, i dont even know what to say but to just thank you for being a good mom for him. I always liked to think he would be here forever but never forgotten. Thank you. God Bless -Tami
***
Cindy, I am sorry. You loved him and he loved you. There is no better life. Rebecca
***
Dearest Cindy, Miles and I are so very sorry for your loss. The sweet souls of our good days are the only thing that would make me believe in heaven. If Elsa and Robert aren't there, I'M NOT GOING! Much Love, Libby
***
Cindy - Robert was very lucky to have you as his mama - you guys had a very special relationship and I know he loved you soooo much. Wasn't he a warrior? Such a fighter. He'll be missed. I imagine him in heaven in a full blown run - leaping from cloud to cloud with a big grin and tongue hanging out. You do have a whole lotta lovin' around you. Always remember that - We are here for you. Take Care XO - Vickie
***
Dear Cindy, I am happy to hear that Robert is in a peaceful place now, and that he left knowing how loved he is. I am sorry that you have lost such a tremendous friend, teacher, and companion, but it sounds as if the gifts he offered you will be with you for a lifetime. Reading your last blog, I was struck by the depth of your relationship and the immensity of love and insights that Robert's presence in your life brought you. I would say that you were both lucky to have one another, as I'm sure he left this morning thinking how lucky he was to have your loving, unconditional presence in his life.
May your grieving be sweet, and open you even more to the spectrum of beauty in the world that Robert showed to you. ~J
***
(From Denmark) I had no idea Cindy. I'm very sorry to hear this. It has not really been the best period for you with your mother and now Robert. I know only too well how devastating losing your best friend can be. Take care of yourself. Let me know if there is anything i can do! Best, Elizabeth
***
I am so very, very sorry for your loss Cindy. I know he meant a lot to you. - Chris
***
Cindy, I am sorry about your loss. I will miss Robert, especially when he was in the office he always came to my cube and let me pat him. Best, Zoe
***
(From Indiana)Honey, I'm so sorry for your loss. We had to put Katy to sleep in July. She was 14 years old. Can you believe that? Dogs are so pure in their love and willingness to carry on no matter what. You were so good to Robert. At first I thought you were nuts, but you're a regular canine Florence Nightingale. Miss you and the fun we had. I'm gigging 2 or 3 times a month. It's still fun and I'm still growing musically.Much love and a big, big hug,Garry
***
Cindy,I am so sorry that he passed away—he was loved by us all here. I hope you are doing okay and that you know we all love you too! See you in April! - Brook
***
(From Maine) Oh Cindy, I can't even begin to tell you how I feel...Robert has remained a presence in my life. We both know that there was something unique about Robert; that intangible spirit that grabbed me from thousands of miles away. Here was a creature that expressed love and heart to perfection - an infinite soul who taught us what the power of love is capable of. I have always loved Dobermans - all Dobermans - yet Robert went well beyond many of the Dobes I've known...maybe it was his age or his infirmity; but it's unimportant because Robert taught me - and many others - that a free spirit can soar no matter what the challenge.
Cindy, it's difficult to type with tears in my heart, and I ache for the huge absence in your life as well as all the others who will always love our Robert. All I can say is that my world is diminished, too. He will be forever loved, near and far. Rest easy, dear, wonderful Robert. Someday, I will meet you. - Love, Les
***
Cindy, I'm so sorry about Robert. He was lucky to spend his life with someone who loved him so very, very much. Best, Stacy
***
Dear Cindy and angel Robert,
May you be blessed with feeling loved and supported at this difficult time. Cindy, now you have your own angel on your shoulder, Robert. Because who else would he want to hang out with, but you Cindy! You have loved and cared for him through tough times and what a tough guy he was. Lucky dog, lucky dog! Woof! Be blessed with peace, and NEW furniture, like you said. I know you will miss him terribly and I know your grief will be deeply painful for a time. Many Blessings, Maureen
***
I am sorry Cindy, I know that it has been something that you knew had to happen but wished it would never come. Robert was so lucky to have you in his life and he in yours and I am glad that I got a chance to meet him.
Thinking of you and Robert, John
***
(From Germany) Hi Cindy, such sad news this morning. The blog you did for Robert is really beautiful. Event though I never met him, I’m now a fan. It’s incredible how much humans can learn from their animal friends and often get back more than you give. - Birgitt
***
Cindy,I can honestly with a heavy heart say that I know how you feel. I lost Joey on Saturday and I have not slept a night through since. I keep thinking I hear him and I wake up and he is not there.... and then I remember why and start crying again. All of my pals who have lost dogs they really, really loved keep telling me this is normal. So if this starts happening, dont' worry it's normal. Now I am not saying that YOU are normal becuz we know you aren't. - Laura
***
oh Cindy I am so sorry to hear about Robert. You were such a great caregiver to him and I am glad you had the chance to get to know each other in this crazy journey we call life. You were both so lucky to find each other (he really did love to torment you). Thanks for letting me know. My heart is with you. - Kirsten
***
(From Washington) Cindy, Thanks so much for reaching out to Robert, and for sharing the story of your time with him. This is not a new story to me, I know what it's like to have to fight like hell just to have something I can call a life. Even though it's familiar territory to me, your words reflected the sincerity, honesty, tenacity, and the ridiculousness one encounters when struggling with something huge. Take care.
If you feel up to it, come up to the open mic at La Center on Friday night. - Mark
***
I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of Robert. - Wayne
***
Hi Cindy, Im very sad to hear the news of Robert's passing ~ my thoughts are with you. ~Matt
***
(From California) I'm so sorry.You did so much for Robert and I know that it's very hard right now.
You really helped him and with all your support you gave him a much longer and happier life. - John
***
Hi Cindy, Sorry to hear the sad news.
Robert is now a part of history, but beyond his celebrity status, I know he will be remembered for his singular personality. (Not to mention fashion sense -- loved that leopard-skin harness.)
I know he leaves a big space in your life -- what a great guy. Take care, Rick
***
Dear Cindy, Since I received your Christmas card I have had Robert"s picture pinned up where I would see it while preparing for my day. I would look at it and admire his unbelievable courage. He was my inspiration for 2009. Now because of his passing I will cherish this picture. It will remind me that despite all - there is still happiness to be had—and, because of your peerless example, there is love also.
I am grateful for the memory you both have given us. All of my love, Catherine
***
Best wishes to you as you say goodbye to this wonderful friend. - Patrick
***
I'm so sorry to hear about Robert. He was one nutty, sweet, awesome, and truly unique fellow. Between Enya and Robert, you've been fortunate to have some very special dogs. I'll never forget either of them. -John
***
(From Iowa) Hi Cindy, I am so sorry that you have lost Robert. Through his accident and your efforts, many people came to know and love Robert. I did. I'm glad that I was able to see him. I love dogs and I love it when they are trying to tell me something. Take care and I love you, - (Aunt) Judy
***
I am so sorry for your loss. But we all know he is at peace now and you should be also. - Brian
***
(From Massachusetts)Oh Cindy, It's all the love that's making me cry. What a journey this has been. What a blessing.
I'll think about that place where doggie souls go, and see Robert frolicking there.
Lots of love and hugs to you, - tg
***
Sorry to hear the news. Strange, Keith and I were just sitting next to each other on a bus driving back from a ranch in San Antonio - and I was telling him stories about our time in Texas. As I was stepping off the bus about 15 minutes ago I said the last I had heard from you was a christmas card from you with Robert on the cover.
I'll be back in town over the weekend if you want to hang with friends. - m.
***
Cindy, I just got this upon returning from Denmark. My heart is with you, but I am glad that Robert lived a long life with extraordinary love and care.
I'll see you soon, before Las Vegas of course. - Brad
***
Hi Cindy, My thoughts are with you. You were a great parent to Robert. He's lucky to
know you as we all are. - Tracy
***
Hey Cindy and Fat Bastard Kitty, I sit here in tears feeling the loss you are going through. But I am overjoyed at the life the two of you shared...not sure how the kitty felt about it all :-)
I am so glad I got to spend New Year's with the dude..telling him not to run down the dirt hill and chasing after him in my heels and wedding clothes, in the rain, through the wet leaves and snagging myself on tree linbs as I picked him up and took him back the house. What a friggin' cool guy. He didn't even get cranky with me as I was trying to get him back into the house. I certainly was less than graceful. If I were him, I'm sure I would have bit me. But he just looked at me like, you aren't doing like my mom does, but ok...whatever....weakling.
Robert has the best spirit! I know he is running around the track and pooping in all the appropriate places :-) And like Beau...I bet Robert will find a way to let you know he is still around.
We will certainly miss him as I know you do and will.
It probably goes without saying but you know you can count on us if you need anything. - Susan and the boys
***
Cindy, I'm so sorry. If there is anything I can do, let me know... - Mike
***
Hey, I'm so sad for you. I know you'll miss him. How you get your dogs to absolutely worship you I'll never know but I'm sure Robert was happy all the way to the end because you were there. Let us know if you need anything. - Elden
***
Oh, Cindy, no doubt his has all been very complicated and so exhausting for you. And I know you'll miss Robert. But please acknowledge and hug yourself for all that you did to bring ease and comfort to this loving creature who gave you so much in exchange. After all, that's really all we have to offer each other, anyway.
My heart goes out to you, and I hope you'll treat yourself to a little rest & recuperation. You deserve it. Now, please take the very best care of yourself.
With love, Susan A.
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole". Roger Caras
***
Hey Cindy - I'm so sorry about Robert. A big part of your heart, your life. One hell of a dog. and I hear you say how ready he was. What a long time of his not being hardy and able to do his dog heart's active desires. I'm sad too. - Diane
***
Cindy, I just got this email. Im very sorry to hear it, I know how much he meant to you. If you need to talk, Im always here for you. Love, Craig
***
Cindy, I loved your posts and I fell hard for Robert. You're brave and funny and kind, and I hope the hard part is over for you. I'm going to go give my dobe Silvio a big hug now. - Lisa
***
Mom just called about Robert. I’m sorry to hear that he had to say goodbye. I so enjoyed my visit with you and him. He was definitely quite the inspiring story. Mom said you did a great job on the website. She said I will have to look at it when I get home. I wanted you to know that you are in my thoughts. - Shawna
***
Oh Cindy, I am so glad it was peaceful, but the emptiness can be so loud. A funny coincidence. Today is my mom's birthday so I've been thinking of her all day. I just told her to be on the lookout for Robert. - Claud
***
I am so very very sorry to hear this news. I really enjoyed reading Robert's blog. It's excruciatingly painful to lose such a good friend. - Jinx
***
What a network of admirers Robert created! With your energy and Robert's spirit, he leaves many memories. - Pat
***
Good afternoon Cindy, I am sorry that Robert is gone. You sure have worked to make his life more pleasurable. I know you will miss him. I have lost my friends along the way and it is not an easy process. They become so connected to our lives.
You can sure rest assured that you did everything possible and should look back on the whole experience with fond memories. Best to you, Roger
***
So sorry to hear about Robert, Cindy. But I am sure he's running around and having a good time in a better place. You take care, JC
***
Oh Sweetie, I had no idea -- I'm so sorry -- I know what a good dog he was to you and how much you loved him. In the end, they always break your heart. love to you! - KC Cowan
***
Cindy, I'm so sorry to hear of his death. What a wonderful friend and life. Much to celebrate, and much to mourn. Your in my thoughts. - Laura
***
Hi Cindy, I'm so sorry to hear about your mother and Robert...My deepest condolences on both accounts. You were a heroic mom to Robert and gave him the absolutely best life he could have had. talk to you soon, diana
***
You took great care of him, it was wonderful to see. Thank you so much for telling me. If there's anything I can do to help, let me know. - Barry
***
Cindy - I just wanted to say my thoughts are with you and Robert. I'm so glad for the time that I spent with him last summer at BackonTrack. He really left an impression on my life. I'm sure his doggy soul is doing the crocodile dance in doggy heaven :). I hope he has cats to harass up there! - Liz
***
Hi Cindy, I am sorry to hear about Robert. I am glad you had eachother! Sending love,Anne
***
Cindy,I'm sorry and sad to hear about Robert, but I know he had the most amazing love that he could possibly have ...from you and all of us, some that never even met him, like me, felt like we knew him, and we did...and he will always be thought of with love.You and he are in my heart and thoughts, Robbie
***
Dear Cindy, I am so sorry about Robert. I too have lost beloved kids after long hard fights to save them. He was so fortunate to have you for a mom and to have all the help he did to be able to experience love, joy and freedom in his life.
Animals have souls and depths of feeling that humans do not often give them credit for. Robert will always be with you and perhaps if we are lucky; those of us who love our pets will be able to be with them in eternity. My thoughts are with you. Thank you for giving Robert a great life. - Marilynn
***
Hi Cindy, I am getting a break from a hectic work week and wanted to let you know I am thinking about you and the loss of Robert this last week. I am grateful that we stopped by last Sunday to spend time with you and Robert. Robert had an impact on all our lives and we will never forget him. Take care, Connie
***
Hi Cindy ~ I'm so sorry for your loss. Bless Robert for the love he brought to so many lives! Thanks for sharing. Hang in there, Jennifer
***
Cindy, So sorry to hear of your loss! I was out of town all week. If you would like to borrow an aged Labrador on which to lavish affection, Kili is always available and willing to drool on your foot. - Sara
***
Dear Cindy,I am so sorry to hear about dear Robert's passing. His photo (and several of he and I) have been above my desk since I left B.O.T. I look at them everyday and I regret that I had not come to visit him before he left us. I would have, had I known. I guess I thought Robert would live forever. I truly forgot how old he really was. God knows he never acted it.
Lisa emailed me on the evening he passed. She knew I would want to know. I wish I had been there. I'm so glad he was with all his ladies who loved him so much.
I loved what you wrote in your blog about caring for Robert and what you learned from him. I can relate. He taught me more than any dog at the clinic and I think you know how much I loved caring for him and watching his progress. The best part of my day was always in the morning when Robert would greet me with his wobbly, excited walk and his vocal "hellos". He was and will always be my favorite patient and I'm so glad I got to spend that night sleeping with him at the clinic. It was an honor to know Robert, to care for him and to watch him persevere. I am grateful that he had you as him Mom. One who never gave up on him and took his antics in stride. You were his angel and I believe his spirit will always be with you. Thank you for caring for him the way to did. You are an example to us all. - Shawn
***
Dear Cindy, So sorry to hear of your loss. Dan and I enjoyed Robert's Christmas card and know he will be sorely missed. Thinking of you. Melanie also sends her good wishes for you in this tough time. Love, Claire
***
Sending you good thoughts. - Kimberli
***
Dear Cindy, My beloved Zuma died January 2, just a few days after Donnie and Connie lost Phil. No words can describe the heartache and saddness.My thoughts are with you. - janice
***
Hi Cindy, I was so sorry to hear of Robert's passing. He was a wonderful, loveable dog and friend..and I'm sure you miss him. You deserve great credit for working so hard to keep him happy and comfortable in his heath difficulties. - Tom
***
Oh, Cindy, I am crying my eyes out. What a beautiful story. Blessings on you both.- Rita
***
hi cindy, sorry to hear about robert. Ed told me you were a very nice person and to thank you. - Lisa
***
Hi Cindy, You don't know me, my manager just shared your blog with me. I want to tell you how sorry about I am about Robert's passing. Everybody can see how very special he was, and he was very fortunate to be part of your family. I know how you feel - we just lost our dog last week as well and we are very sad. He is certainly missed and hopefully in a better place. Sincerely, Ivana
***
It suspect it was difficult and I hope, at the same time, sweet in some way. There’s really nothing I can say except that I was saddened and I dread the time when that day arrives for me and one of my boyz. It has been an amazing and very personal journey having dogs. I know their life is comparatively short and it has become a large role in my life to make sure they have a good one. Certainly you did. Many miles beyond what most can imagine. But I know you a bit.
"He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion."
With love to you and your boy, Phil
***
Sometimes it takes me a while to respond to things such as these. I just simply want to say to you that you and Robert are individuals that I consider it a blessing and privilege to know. I am a better person for knowing you - thank you. With Sympathy
- Laurel
***
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh Cindy Lou, It was such a joy to read all the Robert stories. We lost our wonderful Bob after 13 years, so truly understand your loss. You were the most amazing Mama to Robert and if Doyle and I every come back as an animal, we want to be yours. Love you. Hope you are truly comforted by the care you gave your gorgeous Robert. - Gail and Doyle
***
Cindy, I am so sorry for your loss. I do believe in doggy heaven and know Robert is enjoying limitless games with a laser pointer. - Melissa
***
Dear Cindy - I wanted to let you know that my thoughts are with you during this sad time. - Ines
***
RIP Robert. I'm actually crying a little for that damn dog. He was a really good guy. I hope he just felt released from that crochety old body, and went in joy and love. Take care of yourself, and be proud you were such an awesome momma.
***
(From Switzerland) Hi Cindy Oh I’m really sorry – and we just talked about it on Monday. I will have Robert always in my mind like how he used to lean on my legs, or how famous he became around the World with our nosey campaign. - Nicole
***
Hi Cindy, I am very sorry to hear this. I loved meeting your boy..... very special guy. He knows that you gave him your all and he is grateful and peaceful. I know how much it hurts. Take care of you. - Jan, Stormey and Rainey
***
Dear Cindy, I'm so sorry for your loss. You have captured many memories and images that you get to relive much of his life. He has been such a blessing to you and so many people. What a life well lived! Your stories about Robert have shown patience and grace in difficult times. Thank you for sharing them. Peace, Denise
***
Oh Cindy, i dont even know what to say but to just thank you for being a good mom for him. I always liked to think he would be here forever but never forgotten. Thank you. God Bless -Tami
***
Cindy, I am sorry. You loved him and he loved you. There is no better life. Rebecca
***
Dearest Cindy, Miles and I are so very sorry for your loss. The sweet souls of our good days are the only thing that would make me believe in heaven. If Elsa and Robert aren't there, I'M NOT GOING! Much Love, Libby
***
Cindy - Robert was very lucky to have you as his mama - you guys had a very special relationship and I know he loved you soooo much. Wasn't he a warrior? Such a fighter. He'll be missed. I imagine him in heaven in a full blown run - leaping from cloud to cloud with a big grin and tongue hanging out. You do have a whole lotta lovin' around you. Always remember that - We are here for you. Take Care XO - Vickie
***
Dear Cindy, I am happy to hear that Robert is in a peaceful place now, and that he left knowing how loved he is. I am sorry that you have lost such a tremendous friend, teacher, and companion, but it sounds as if the gifts he offered you will be with you for a lifetime. Reading your last blog, I was struck by the depth of your relationship and the immensity of love and insights that Robert's presence in your life brought you. I would say that you were both lucky to have one another, as I'm sure he left this morning thinking how lucky he was to have your loving, unconditional presence in his life.
May your grieving be sweet, and open you even more to the spectrum of beauty in the world that Robert showed to you. ~J
***
(From Denmark) I had no idea Cindy. I'm very sorry to hear this. It has not really been the best period for you with your mother and now Robert. I know only too well how devastating losing your best friend can be. Take care of yourself. Let me know if there is anything i can do! Best, Elizabeth
***
I am so very, very sorry for your loss Cindy. I know he meant a lot to you. - Chris
***
Cindy, I am sorry about your loss. I will miss Robert, especially when he was in the office he always came to my cube and let me pat him. Best, Zoe
***
(From Indiana)Honey, I'm so sorry for your loss. We had to put Katy to sleep in July. She was 14 years old. Can you believe that? Dogs are so pure in their love and willingness to carry on no matter what. You were so good to Robert. At first I thought you were nuts, but you're a regular canine Florence Nightingale. Miss you and the fun we had. I'm gigging 2 or 3 times a month. It's still fun and I'm still growing musically.Much love and a big, big hug,Garry
***
Cindy,I am so sorry that he passed away—he was loved by us all here. I hope you are doing okay and that you know we all love you too! See you in April! - Brook
***
(From Maine) Oh Cindy, I can't even begin to tell you how I feel...Robert has remained a presence in my life. We both know that there was something unique about Robert; that intangible spirit that grabbed me from thousands of miles away. Here was a creature that expressed love and heart to perfection - an infinite soul who taught us what the power of love is capable of. I have always loved Dobermans - all Dobermans - yet Robert went well beyond many of the Dobes I've known...maybe it was his age or his infirmity; but it's unimportant because Robert taught me - and many others - that a free spirit can soar no matter what the challenge.
Cindy, it's difficult to type with tears in my heart, and I ache for the huge absence in your life as well as all the others who will always love our Robert. All I can say is that my world is diminished, too. He will be forever loved, near and far. Rest easy, dear, wonderful Robert. Someday, I will meet you. - Love, Les
***
Cindy, I'm so sorry about Robert. He was lucky to spend his life with someone who loved him so very, very much. Best, Stacy
***
Dear Cindy and angel Robert,
May you be blessed with feeling loved and supported at this difficult time. Cindy, now you have your own angel on your shoulder, Robert. Because who else would he want to hang out with, but you Cindy! You have loved and cared for him through tough times and what a tough guy he was. Lucky dog, lucky dog! Woof! Be blessed with peace, and NEW furniture, like you said. I know you will miss him terribly and I know your grief will be deeply painful for a time. Many Blessings, Maureen
***
I am sorry Cindy, I know that it has been something that you knew had to happen but wished it would never come. Robert was so lucky to have you in his life and he in yours and I am glad that I got a chance to meet him.
Thinking of you and Robert, John
***
(From Germany) Hi Cindy, such sad news this morning. The blog you did for Robert is really beautiful. Event though I never met him, I’m now a fan. It’s incredible how much humans can learn from their animal friends and often get back more than you give. - Birgitt
***
Cindy,I can honestly with a heavy heart say that I know how you feel. I lost Joey on Saturday and I have not slept a night through since. I keep thinking I hear him and I wake up and he is not there.... and then I remember why and start crying again. All of my pals who have lost dogs they really, really loved keep telling me this is normal. So if this starts happening, dont' worry it's normal. Now I am not saying that YOU are normal becuz we know you aren't. - Laura
***
oh Cindy I am so sorry to hear about Robert. You were such a great caregiver to him and I am glad you had the chance to get to know each other in this crazy journey we call life. You were both so lucky to find each other (he really did love to torment you). Thanks for letting me know. My heart is with you. - Kirsten
***
(From Washington) Cindy, Thanks so much for reaching out to Robert, and for sharing the story of your time with him. This is not a new story to me, I know what it's like to have to fight like hell just to have something I can call a life. Even though it's familiar territory to me, your words reflected the sincerity, honesty, tenacity, and the ridiculousness one encounters when struggling with something huge. Take care.
If you feel up to it, come up to the open mic at La Center on Friday night. - Mark
***
I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of Robert. - Wayne
***
Hi Cindy, Im very sad to hear the news of Robert's passing ~ my thoughts are with you. ~Matt
***
(From California) I'm so sorry.You did so much for Robert and I know that it's very hard right now.
You really helped him and with all your support you gave him a much longer and happier life. - John
***
Hi Cindy, Sorry to hear the sad news.
Robert is now a part of history, but beyond his celebrity status, I know he will be remembered for his singular personality. (Not to mention fashion sense -- loved that leopard-skin harness.)
I know he leaves a big space in your life -- what a great guy. Take care, Rick
***
Dear Cindy, Since I received your Christmas card I have had Robert"s picture pinned up where I would see it while preparing for my day. I would look at it and admire his unbelievable courage. He was my inspiration for 2009. Now because of his passing I will cherish this picture. It will remind me that despite all - there is still happiness to be had—and, because of your peerless example, there is love also.
I am grateful for the memory you both have given us. All of my love, Catherine
***
Best wishes to you as you say goodbye to this wonderful friend. - Patrick
***
I'm so sorry to hear about Robert. He was one nutty, sweet, awesome, and truly unique fellow. Between Enya and Robert, you've been fortunate to have some very special dogs. I'll never forget either of them. -John
***
(From Iowa) Hi Cindy, I am so sorry that you have lost Robert. Through his accident and your efforts, many people came to know and love Robert. I did. I'm glad that I was able to see him. I love dogs and I love it when they are trying to tell me something. Take care and I love you, - (Aunt) Judy
***
I am so sorry for your loss. But we all know he is at peace now and you should be also. - Brian
***
(From Massachusetts)Oh Cindy, It's all the love that's making me cry. What a journey this has been. What a blessing.
I'll think about that place where doggie souls go, and see Robert frolicking there.
Lots of love and hugs to you, - tg
***
Sorry to hear the news. Strange, Keith and I were just sitting next to each other on a bus driving back from a ranch in San Antonio - and I was telling him stories about our time in Texas. As I was stepping off the bus about 15 minutes ago I said the last I had heard from you was a christmas card from you with Robert on the cover.
I'll be back in town over the weekend if you want to hang with friends. - m.
***
Cindy, I just got this upon returning from Denmark. My heart is with you, but I am glad that Robert lived a long life with extraordinary love and care.
I'll see you soon, before Las Vegas of course. - Brad
***
Hi Cindy, My thoughts are with you. You were a great parent to Robert. He's lucky to
know you as we all are. - Tracy
***
Hey Cindy and Fat Bastard Kitty, I sit here in tears feeling the loss you are going through. But I am overjoyed at the life the two of you shared...not sure how the kitty felt about it all :-)
I am so glad I got to spend New Year's with the dude..telling him not to run down the dirt hill and chasing after him in my heels and wedding clothes, in the rain, through the wet leaves and snagging myself on tree linbs as I picked him up and took him back the house. What a friggin' cool guy. He didn't even get cranky with me as I was trying to get him back into the house. I certainly was less than graceful. If I were him, I'm sure I would have bit me. But he just looked at me like, you aren't doing like my mom does, but ok...whatever....weakling.
Robert has the best spirit! I know he is running around the track and pooping in all the appropriate places :-) And like Beau...I bet Robert will find a way to let you know he is still around.
We will certainly miss him as I know you do and will.
It probably goes without saying but you know you can count on us if you need anything. - Susan and the boys
***
Cindy, I'm so sorry. If there is anything I can do, let me know... - Mike
***
Hey, I'm so sad for you. I know you'll miss him. How you get your dogs to absolutely worship you I'll never know but I'm sure Robert was happy all the way to the end because you were there. Let us know if you need anything. - Elden
***
Oh, Cindy, no doubt his has all been very complicated and so exhausting for you. And I know you'll miss Robert. But please acknowledge and hug yourself for all that you did to bring ease and comfort to this loving creature who gave you so much in exchange. After all, that's really all we have to offer each other, anyway.
My heart goes out to you, and I hope you'll treat yourself to a little rest & recuperation. You deserve it. Now, please take the very best care of yourself.
With love, Susan A.
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole". Roger Caras
***
Hey Cindy - I'm so sorry about Robert. A big part of your heart, your life. One hell of a dog. and I hear you say how ready he was. What a long time of his not being hardy and able to do his dog heart's active desires. I'm sad too. - Diane
***
Cindy, I just got this email. Im very sorry to hear it, I know how much he meant to you. If you need to talk, Im always here for you. Love, Craig
***
Cindy, I loved your posts and I fell hard for Robert. You're brave and funny and kind, and I hope the hard part is over for you. I'm going to go give my dobe Silvio a big hug now. - Lisa
***
Mom just called about Robert. I’m sorry to hear that he had to say goodbye. I so enjoyed my visit with you and him. He was definitely quite the inspiring story. Mom said you did a great job on the website. She said I will have to look at it when I get home. I wanted you to know that you are in my thoughts. - Shawna
***
Oh Cindy, I am so glad it was peaceful, but the emptiness can be so loud. A funny coincidence. Today is my mom's birthday so I've been thinking of her all day. I just told her to be on the lookout for Robert. - Claud
***
I am so very very sorry to hear this news. I really enjoyed reading Robert's blog. It's excruciatingly painful to lose such a good friend. - Jinx
***
What a network of admirers Robert created! With your energy and Robert's spirit, he leaves many memories. - Pat
***
Good afternoon Cindy, I am sorry that Robert is gone. You sure have worked to make his life more pleasurable. I know you will miss him. I have lost my friends along the way and it is not an easy process. They become so connected to our lives.
You can sure rest assured that you did everything possible and should look back on the whole experience with fond memories. Best to you, Roger
***
So sorry to hear about Robert, Cindy. But I am sure he's running around and having a good time in a better place. You take care, JC
***
Oh Sweetie, I had no idea -- I'm so sorry -- I know what a good dog he was to you and how much you loved him. In the end, they always break your heart. love to you! - KC Cowan
***
Cindy, I'm so sorry to hear of his death. What a wonderful friend and life. Much to celebrate, and much to mourn. Your in my thoughts. - Laura
***
Hi Cindy, I'm so sorry to hear about your mother and Robert...My deepest condolences on both accounts. You were a heroic mom to Robert and gave him the absolutely best life he could have had. talk to you soon, diana
***
You took great care of him, it was wonderful to see. Thank you so much for telling me. If there's anything I can do to help, let me know. - Barry
***
Cindy - I just wanted to say my thoughts are with you and Robert. I'm so glad for the time that I spent with him last summer at BackonTrack. He really left an impression on my life. I'm sure his doggy soul is doing the crocodile dance in doggy heaven :). I hope he has cats to harass up there! - Liz
***
Hi Cindy, I am sorry to hear about Robert. I am glad you had eachother! Sending love,Anne
***
Cindy,I'm sorry and sad to hear about Robert, but I know he had the most amazing love that he could possibly have ...from you and all of us, some that never even met him, like me, felt like we knew him, and we did...and he will always be thought of with love.You and he are in my heart and thoughts, Robbie
***
Dear Cindy, I am so sorry about Robert. I too have lost beloved kids after long hard fights to save them. He was so fortunate to have you for a mom and to have all the help he did to be able to experience love, joy and freedom in his life.
Animals have souls and depths of feeling that humans do not often give them credit for. Robert will always be with you and perhaps if we are lucky; those of us who love our pets will be able to be with them in eternity. My thoughts are with you. Thank you for giving Robert a great life. - Marilynn
***
Hi Cindy, I am getting a break from a hectic work week and wanted to let you know I am thinking about you and the loss of Robert this last week. I am grateful that we stopped by last Sunday to spend time with you and Robert. Robert had an impact on all our lives and we will never forget him. Take care, Connie
***
Hi Cindy ~ I'm so sorry for your loss. Bless Robert for the love he brought to so many lives! Thanks for sharing. Hang in there, Jennifer
***
Cindy, So sorry to hear of your loss! I was out of town all week. If you would like to borrow an aged Labrador on which to lavish affection, Kili is always available and willing to drool on your foot. - Sara
***
Dear Cindy,I am so sorry to hear about dear Robert's passing. His photo (and several of he and I) have been above my desk since I left B.O.T. I look at them everyday and I regret that I had not come to visit him before he left us. I would have, had I known. I guess I thought Robert would live forever. I truly forgot how old he really was. God knows he never acted it.
Lisa emailed me on the evening he passed. She knew I would want to know. I wish I had been there. I'm so glad he was with all his ladies who loved him so much.
I loved what you wrote in your blog about caring for Robert and what you learned from him. I can relate. He taught me more than any dog at the clinic and I think you know how much I loved caring for him and watching his progress. The best part of my day was always in the morning when Robert would greet me with his wobbly, excited walk and his vocal "hellos". He was and will always be my favorite patient and I'm so glad I got to spend that night sleeping with him at the clinic. It was an honor to know Robert, to care for him and to watch him persevere. I am grateful that he had you as him Mom. One who never gave up on him and took his antics in stride. You were his angel and I believe his spirit will always be with you. Thank you for caring for him the way to did. You are an example to us all. - Shawn
***
Dear Cindy, So sorry to hear of your loss. Dan and I enjoyed Robert's Christmas card and know he will be sorely missed. Thinking of you. Melanie also sends her good wishes for you in this tough time. Love, Claire
***
Sending you good thoughts. - Kimberli
***
Dear Cindy, My beloved Zuma died January 2, just a few days after Donnie and Connie lost Phil. No words can describe the heartache and saddness.My thoughts are with you. - janice
***
Hi Cindy, I was so sorry to hear of Robert's passing. He was a wonderful, loveable dog and friend..and I'm sure you miss him. You deserve great credit for working so hard to keep him happy and comfortable in his heath difficulties. - Tom
***
Oh, Cindy, I am crying my eyes out. What a beautiful story. Blessings on you both.- Rita
***
hi cindy, sorry to hear about robert. Ed told me you were a very nice person and to thank you. - Lisa
***
Hi Cindy, You don't know me, my manager just shared your blog with me. I want to tell you how sorry about I am about Robert's passing. Everybody can see how very special he was, and he was very fortunate to be part of your family. I know how you feel - we just lost our dog last week as well and we are very sad. He is certainly missed and hopefully in a better place. Sincerely, Ivana
***
It suspect it was difficult and I hope, at the same time, sweet in some way. There’s really nothing I can say except that I was saddened and I dread the time when that day arrives for me and one of my boyz. It has been an amazing and very personal journey having dogs. I know their life is comparatively short and it has become a large role in my life to make sure they have a good one. Certainly you did. Many miles beyond what most can imagine. But I know you a bit.
"He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion."
With love to you and your boy, Phil
***
Sometimes it takes me a while to respond to things such as these. I just simply want to say to you that you and Robert are individuals that I consider it a blessing and privilege to know. I am a better person for knowing you - thank you. With Sympathy
- Laurel
***
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh Cindy Lou, It was such a joy to read all the Robert stories. We lost our wonderful Bob after 13 years, so truly understand your loss. You were the most amazing Mama to Robert and if Doyle and I every come back as an animal, we want to be yours. Love you. Hope you are truly comforted by the care you gave your gorgeous Robert. - Gail and Doyle
Saturday, November 15, 2008
You Can't Kill a Dancing Dog
Two weeks ago when I got home from a business trip Robert ran up to me but he fell over before he got there. That was the beginning of another long soul searching about if he should still be with us or if it's kinder to put him down. I watched him closely for the next few days and he seemed genuinely unhappy. I've always said that if I thought he was unhappy that I would do it. I never wanted to keep him alive because I want him around. I honestly have felt, and so have his doctors (and yes, that is plural) that he's had this unbelievable spark in spite of everything and a true will to be here. I have this list in my head of when it will be time:
When he stops terrorizing the cat.
When he eats less.
When he stops bossing me around.
When he stops going for walks.
When he seems unhappy or in pain.
When he can no longer walk (again).
When he stops pulling his toys out of his box.
When he stops dancing.
Watching him that week, we were close to ending this. I took him in to Dr. Shaw and asked her to look at him because he seemed bad and he wasn't sleeping. He had been waking me up at night with 'helicopter ears', that's when he spins his head back and forth and flaps his ears so I'll wake up. He was hitting me with his paws in the middle of the night and even when he was sleeping, his breathing was off.
His liver values weren't great but after an ultra-sound, a bunch of blood work and additional testing over at Bethany Family Pet Clinic, we ruled out Cushings.
Dr. Shaw put him on an antibiotic just to be on the safe side and we increased his arthritis medicine. 24 hours on the antibiotic and he slept 9 hours straight. Still a week later, even though he was better, he wasn't 100%. Then this weekend, Bingo - the crocodile dance, two laps at the track, his toys all over the floor, and he started bossing us all around again.
Robert is weaker physically now. He loses his balance more often. He doesn't go exploring or try the dog door. He was doing 4 laps at the track a few months ago and now he can only do two. I think we might be seeing a decline. But he's 13 and he's been through so much we knew that this was going to happen. It's just that with him, he's so determined, it's hard to believe he won't live forever.
At this point, he seems pretty happy and stable. He has the evil gleam back in his eye and he's extremely - shall we say, verbal.
When he stops terrorizing the cat.
When he eats less.
When he stops bossing me around.
When he stops going for walks.
When he seems unhappy or in pain.
When he can no longer walk (again).
When he stops pulling his toys out of his box.
When he stops dancing.
Watching him that week, we were close to ending this. I took him in to Dr. Shaw and asked her to look at him because he seemed bad and he wasn't sleeping. He had been waking me up at night with 'helicopter ears', that's when he spins his head back and forth and flaps his ears so I'll wake up. He was hitting me with his paws in the middle of the night and even when he was sleeping, his breathing was off.
His liver values weren't great but after an ultra-sound, a bunch of blood work and additional testing over at Bethany Family Pet Clinic, we ruled out Cushings.
Dr. Shaw put him on an antibiotic just to be on the safe side and we increased his arthritis medicine. 24 hours on the antibiotic and he slept 9 hours straight. Still a week later, even though he was better, he wasn't 100%. Then this weekend, Bingo - the crocodile dance, two laps at the track, his toys all over the floor, and he started bossing us all around again.
Robert is weaker physically now. He loses his balance more often. He doesn't go exploring or try the dog door. He was doing 4 laps at the track a few months ago and now he can only do two. I think we might be seeing a decline. But he's 13 and he's been through so much we knew that this was going to happen. It's just that with him, he's so determined, it's hard to believe he won't live forever.
At this point, he seems pretty happy and stable. He has the evil gleam back in his eye and he's extremely - shall we say, verbal.
Monday, June 23, 2008
Robert Goes Running
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Robert The Athlete
Robert really hates 'Wheel of Fortune' and so do I. Right after Jeopardy, he hears the start of that show and walks to the front door and starts pounding on it to get out. I agree, so we turn off the TV and go to the track across the street.
He can do a whole mile now with very few problems. He still has to rest sometimes but he's a very determined dog, as we all know.
I'm trying to get him out on more walks because we lost his physical therapist, Miss Ellie The Super Springer Spaniel. Her and Doug moved out a couple of weeks ago so Robert does not have as much motivation to go on bone patrol or switch couches every half hour during turf wars.
He absolutely LOVES going to the track and if you try to bring him home he will fall over in protest. I'm not making this up, he does it at rehab too when they take him for a walk - as soon as they turn him back towards the building, he falls over. If you turn him around in the direction he wants to go, he gets up - turn him back he falls over. It's really annoying. And also dangerous because he does it in the middle of the street when cars are coming if he doesn't want to go home.
So, I have this Ruff Wear body harness thing on him that has a handle. It's like carrying a ribcage suitcase filled with meat. It's saving my back, it really helps. I tried them before, this is his third one, he ate the other two. But it looks like he's finally used to it.
Robert seems like he feels really good right now. He was having some problems about a week ago where he was eating buckets of grass and then I would see it later all over the couch and the rug, and I'm not talking about the front end. Dr. Shaw at Back on Track put him on enzymes and he seems much better. He still eats grass but not as much and he seems to have better control over where he does his business. He's very perky and happy right now, he does the crocodile dance a lot.
A mile is a long way for a dog who could barely walk a few months ago. He's doing great!
He can do a whole mile now with very few problems. He still has to rest sometimes but he's a very determined dog, as we all know.
I'm trying to get him out on more walks because we lost his physical therapist, Miss Ellie The Super Springer Spaniel. Her and Doug moved out a couple of weeks ago so Robert does not have as much motivation to go on bone patrol or switch couches every half hour during turf wars.
He absolutely LOVES going to the track and if you try to bring him home he will fall over in protest. I'm not making this up, he does it at rehab too when they take him for a walk - as soon as they turn him back towards the building, he falls over. If you turn him around in the direction he wants to go, he gets up - turn him back he falls over. It's really annoying. And also dangerous because he does it in the middle of the street when cars are coming if he doesn't want to go home.
So, I have this Ruff Wear body harness thing on him that has a handle. It's like carrying a ribcage suitcase filled with meat. It's saving my back, it really helps. I tried them before, this is his third one, he ate the other two. But it looks like he's finally used to it.
Robert seems like he feels really good right now. He was having some problems about a week ago where he was eating buckets of grass and then I would see it later all over the couch and the rug, and I'm not talking about the front end. Dr. Shaw at Back on Track put him on enzymes and he seems much better. He still eats grass but not as much and he seems to have better control over where he does his business. He's very perky and happy right now, he does the crocodile dance a lot.
A mile is a long way for a dog who could barely walk a few months ago. He's doing great!
Saturday, March 8, 2008
Robert and The Very Good Day
Just a short update to let you all know that Robert had a breakthrough day today.
He went out the dog door by himself, walked across the deck, went down the stairs, walked around the back yard, dug around, came back up the stairs, through the dog door and back into the house.
That's the first time he's been able to do that by himself in over a year.
Our new addition to the family is Doug's Springer Spaniel, Ellie. She has a habit of burying bones in the backyard which has been very motivating for Robert. He does more in general since she's been here. The competition to get to the couch first, the strict schedule they keep of burying and digging up bones, the run to the pantry to get to the food bowl first has made him more active. And she's a sweetheart. I've never seen an 11 year old dog who literally runs everywhere, she's amazingly active.
Which is why she's locked in the backyard right now while I pick up little mud clumps from freshly exhumed bones.
Robert is having a VERY good day!
He went out the dog door by himself, walked across the deck, went down the stairs, walked around the back yard, dug around, came back up the stairs, through the dog door and back into the house.
That's the first time he's been able to do that by himself in over a year.
Our new addition to the family is Doug's Springer Spaniel, Ellie. She has a habit of burying bones in the backyard which has been very motivating for Robert. He does more in general since she's been here. The competition to get to the couch first, the strict schedule they keep of burying and digging up bones, the run to the pantry to get to the food bowl first has made him more active. And she's a sweetheart. I've never seen an 11 year old dog who literally runs everywhere, she's amazingly active.
Which is why she's locked in the backyard right now while I pick up little mud clumps from freshly exhumed bones.
Robert is having a VERY good day!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
